(with apologies to Joyce Kilmer) — I think that I shall never see A bug as nasty as a flea Its hungry mouth against me prest To suck out blood — it’s such a pest It sneaks into your house one day Then hops around and looks for prey The cat sits scratching on the porch The…

National Umbrella Day — February 10th — (with apologies to the Bee Gees) I can tell by the way you use your walk, you’re a sodden man, no time to talk Get your wallet out and buy protection from that rainy sky And it’s alright, it’s okay — could have bought one on ebay Corner shop, has some stock, and it’s not a lot to pay…

and the passage of time — Okay, this is a bit weird, but try and put yourself in a non-English frame of mind. My Italian mother had this little phrase that helped her get through the dark miserable days of winter. It referred to feet — or rather, footprints. Some time in early January was the…

he just wants to join in — He hangs around the Christmas Tree, gets tangled in the lights, baubles rain down on his head, we hear them fall at night. He steps upon the presents wrinkles the wrapping paper, I don’t know how he does it, he’s only smoke and vapour. He joins in with the carols though…