‘Morning, Love. Tea?’
‘Oh, thanks…Mm, lovely. Just the job.’
‘Nothing like a nice mug of…ah, look at that. Wow! There must be two hundred of them.’
‘Yeah. Bluestripe Snappers aren’t they? Gorgeous. Look at the gentle way they all flow together.
Ichthyology. It’s like ornithology but watching fish instead of birds. Could be a hobby of the future — if our future is on the sea bed.
We live on a watery world. About three-quarters of it is ocean. If climate change has its way, there could be even less of a land-to-sea ratio. …
Herbert couldn’t remember names. Awful predicament at times. He’d be talking to someone who’d greeted him heartily and chatted about friends, family, holidays — and though he knew the face, he couldn’t put a name to it.
‘Listen,’ his wife said, when he told her about it, ‘what you need to do is connect something about the face to the name.’ He frowned, not knowing what she meant. ‘See here,’ she said, pulling a photo album out of the drawer. ‘Who’s this?’ She pointed to a black and white photo of a man in a tweed jacket. ‘That’s uh…wotsisname who…
First, you had to roll up the rug and put it to one side. Inset into the floorboards was a metal ring attached to a trap-door. Pull it up and there was the bath — a proper one, white and smooth — sunken into the under-floor. It was a right palaver to have a bath. Grom stored some bits and pieces down there, so you had to take them out first. She filled panful after panful of water from the geyser, which took ages. When the bath was full enough, you had to step down into it and that wasn’t…
Now gather round and let me tell the tale of Danny Wise
And how his hot wife, Annabel, did suck out both his eyes,
And if I tell the story true, and if I tell it clear,
There’s not a single one of you won’t shrink in mortal fear.
One summer day when Danny Wise was having his hair trimmed,
A gorgeous female sauntered by, all curvy and loose-limbed.
The instant Danny spotted her his heart leapt with delight.
He sprang out of the barber’s chair, his hair a messy sight,
And down the street he ran to try and…
I’d love to have been an architect. Stone, wood, straw, tyres, slate, ceramics, tin — think of all the shapes and colours and materials you can use to create a unique building. So many designs can be created if you let your imagination run riot — and there are some pretty weird ideas out there.
I’d design my own house and it would be a thing of beauty. Beautiful dwellings inspire awe. They are breathtaking in their imaginative scope, use of materials and feeling of light and space.
Beauty, as they say, is in the eye of the beholder…
I write to entertain, explain…and leave a tickle of laughter in your brain.